I'll Have A Blue Christmas Without You...

is it just me or is it really a blue christmas?  so many things are bothering me in this season of "tidings and joy"... an empty space, right smack in the center of this red beating thingy i have under my ribcage.  i don't know... 'tis the season to be jolly...but why do i feel so sad...?

Kapoy.

ang hirap talaga ng buhay-graduating...para na akong pimple na tinutubuan ng mukha... sige lang, konteng tiis nalang...gagraduate rin ako!!!!!!!!!  (kung hindi ma-reject thesis namin...)

Friends List!!!

I was scanning through my sis Mariann's blog when i saw this amusing entry, and decided to try it out myself!  I hope my sis won't mind:)


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List 20 friends. No particular order.
1. Kathlynn Chaves
2. Rechelle Tolinero
3. Vanessa Gorra
4. Ryan Christopher Pasana
5. Kim Anthony Plamor
6. Thea Amor Timonera
7. Joseph Glenn Nisperos
8. Krystle Shayla Roa
9. Mariann Rosario Estaniel
10. Arvie Fe Ravelo
11. Jan Michael Tagam
12. Henry Li
13. Daffny Jan Fernandez
14. Joseph Peter Capaque
15. Noel Moneva
16. Job Robinson Wahiman
17. Merry Jade Acenas
18. Corazon Roan Bautista
19. Rachel Ann Jandayan
20. Mary Rose Krystel Rodriguez

Then, fill this out according to the people you chose!!


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Who is 8 going out with?: + Number 7


Is 9 a boy or a girl?: + A girl...a very pretty and attractive girl if i may add:)


Would 11 and 12 make a cute couple? + hahaha!!! perish the thought! odd couple maybe, but definitely not cute!


How about 18 and 4?: + hmm...actually, crush daw before ni 4 si 18...but they're good friends now...and since significant other ko si 4, NO, they won't make a cute couple:) hehehe...peace coyz!!!


What grade is 17 in?: + sophie sa MVC, nursing   


When was the last time you talked to 12?: + as in "talked"? very long time ago na, like more than a year ago...but we keep in touch through SMS   


What is 6's favorite band?: + *sheepish grin* my gosh, i could picture out thea's raised brows right now...but anyway, i know she likes acoustics and slow jams


Does 1 have any siblings?: + yup...a younger brother


Would you ever date 3?: + HAHAHAHA!!!!!


Would you ever date 7?: + krystle's gonna kill me!!! :)


Is 16 single?: + sa pagkaalam ko, he is...but knowing how incredibly unpredictable this guy is... :)


What's 15's last name?: + Moneva


What's 5's middle name?: + Mercado (ha! i got that right!:)


What's 10's fantasy?: + I'd rather not know...hehehe:)


Would 14 and 17 make a good couple?: + DEFINITELY NOT! NOT! NOT! NOT!


What school does 20 go to?: + Xavier U., but she's somewhere else right now...


Tell me a random fact about 11: + he's a friggin' hacker! :)


And 1: + she likes to collect lipsticks...


Have you ever had a crush on 16?: + no.... but he's a good friend


Where does 9 live?: + #18 don sero st. cotabato city :):):)


What's 4's favorite color?: + green....aggies na aggies


Would you makeout with 14?: + HELL NO! he's not that kind of friend... 


Are 5 & 1 best friends?: + they're "bwother & sister"...very good friends in fact


Do you like 20?: + yes...we're kinda "sisters"...i sure hope she still feels the same...


Does 8 like 19?: + they don't even know each other


How did you meet 15?: + noel was one of my first friends in college. first met in our first class and he, together with eding & job, started hanging out with KC and me...1st day of college with new classmates can be very lonely at times and i'm thankful the trio were there to keep us company!


Does 10 have any pets?: + i really don't know...hmm...i guess not


Is 12 older than you?: + nope...i'm a year older


Is 1 the sexiest person?: + yezzzz...sexy, hot, seductive...ano pa nga yun rech?:)


Have you ever given 13 a hug?: + yes, many times...we've grown closer since our Ipil OJT


Who among them you want to cuddle with right now?: + next question please...

CONSTANTLY

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven't known you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong

Could this be love
Deep down inside
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you're on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can't sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking 'bout you

Why do I feel this way
When I know you have someone
That you're seeing each and every day
Should I play this game
Of just being your friend
When I know that's not where I want it to end

How could this be wrong
When the feeling's so strong
Tearing me apart
I feel it in my heart

Constantly, you're on my mind
Thinking about you all the time
I can't sleep no matter what I do
I just keep on thinking 'bout you

No I don't want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I'm going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

The Death Mask

The Death Mask - "you like to hurt others and bring pain upon them.."

what does the death mask look like?



its funny how most of the people wear masks to cover up something...its normal really.  but for some people...the mask they wear holds a deep, dark secret...a hidden agenda...a DEADLY hidden agenda...


others wear what is called the "Death Mask".  Shiny and stunning in all its silver and white beauty...making it hard to believe that what's behind that mask slithers and hisses...ready to strike at the unsuspecting (and trusting) prey it has kept its eyes on for so long.


funny how naive one can be not to notice that a death mask is being worn by one of her closest of close friends...


funny how one can be so naive to be manipulated for so long...


funny how comforting the thought of revenge can be...


but its better to sit back and just let nature do its course.


besides...everything comes with a price...


even the death mask.

Photo Album

when you peeps have time, you can view my photos at yahoo. i update it from time to time kaya visit2x lang kayo okies?:) ciao.


YAHOO my photos site

Emotions...

i never imagined how hard it is to face every single day knowing i would feel the same damn way all over again. i'm tired of putting on this mask...showing people that i'm ok...that nothing's wrong. 


i can make myself numb for four days straight, but that's all i can take. as strong as i am, i still break down...but you can't see it, because you refuse to...or maybe...because you're afraid to.

OJT Experience

A BULLETIN REPOST...


halu sa inyong tanan mga devcom! this is the representative from OJT team ipil...CHIKA:) nangungumusta lang mga mare't pare... ganahan ba mo sa inyong OJT?

personally ha, my OJT experience isn't that perfect...but in life, what is diba? pero no regrets talaga ako na nandito ako sa ipil ngayon with the team. its such a one-of-a-kind experience and I'm learning a lot from it...physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

one week nalang naiwan at back to reality na. as in reality na students tayo sa Xavier...not employees sa ating mga respective companies. i'm quite...umm...sort of...umm...OH WHAT THE HECK, i'm REALLY sad that OJT period is almost at its end. if i'd have to live it again, i would, just to experience the joys, hurt, and the undescribable feeling of being "independent" for six weeks.

first week of internship was the pits for me. i wanted to go home. i hated our "baraks" and i wasn't quite used to being far away from the people i knew for this long. it was such a blessing that we are a team of five...or else i would have never survived my time in Ipil.

now, i just want to spend even an extra week or two here in Ipil. i don't know why, but i'm getting really attached to the place and people of the prelature. maybe its the air...or maybe God willed it. maybe He saw that i needed something different in life...and this experience is sure different. maybe He thought, "Monotonous na masyado itong si Justine...let's shake her life around a bit...".

i don't know about the sentiments of the others in the team...some may feel the same way i do...but from what i've seen, the urge to go back to the comfort of their own territory is stronger than the
desire to stay for a bit longer. every person is unique, and this goes the same with experiences...coz my desire to stay a bit longer has overpowered the former urge. pero noh, kung uuwi na silang lahat
at ako nalang maiiwan, eh uuwi nalang rin ako. it would be lonely without them man rin kasi yung whole team and nagbibigay-buhay sa Ipil experience.

baka isipin niyo na "all good" kami dito. hindi ah...marami rin mga "kasakit" and sometimes, misunderstandings between team members or between the team and our supervisor. but inspite of that, mostly smooth sailing man rin kami because our different personalities allow us to do so. sabi pa nga ng mga employees dito "gaka-lingaw" daw sila sa amin. sabi naman ni Sr. Ann, the "Mother Superior" dito,
mababait daw kami. wow...shocked kami doon sa comment na yun ah. kami??? mababait??? gosh...chika:)

in a way, i'm happy na kahit grabe ang bad feedbacks about the place because of the past massacres and stuff, the team still enjoyed the time in Ipil without any incident na na-jeopardize ang safety naming
lahat. thank you Lord for that.

wrapping up this short (short???) "journal" entry which was supposed to be a short bulletin post lang pero nadala siguro ako sa moment na naging journal entry nalang tuloy, this is an experience to be
treasured and cherished for a lifetime. the place, the animals, the people...they have all touched me in a way i never could have imagined. i not only gained knowledge in work and experience of being on the job, i've also gained wisdom in dealing with the obstacles the world has to offer, in all aspects of life.

wow...ganito pala ako kapag madala ng moment noh?:)

sige people, take care kayong lahat and i hope you've also gained MORE THAN WORK EXPERIENCE during the internship period...because ultimately, that's what matters most:)

adios.

justine