Thursday, November 22, 2007

On The Medical Chart...

Nurse

ACTUAL SENTENCES FOUND IN PATIENT'S MEDICAL CHARTS



---

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. (talagang sasakit yan kung 1 year syang nasa left side!)

---

2. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. (ano?? biglang nawala tuhod nya?)

---

3. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. (tinanong mo yun??)

---

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

---

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. (kasalanan mo siguro!)

---

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. (without permission to ano?? to live??)

---

7. The patient refused autopsy. (pano yun mkkarefuse eh patay na cya??)

---

8. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

---

9. She is numb from her toes down. (ngek?)

---

10. While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. (ginawang porn star daw ba???)

---

11. The skin was moist and dry. (ano daw???! moist na dry??!)

---

12. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

---

13. Patient was alert and unresponsive. (pano naging alert yan kung unresponsive??)

---

14. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid. (nasa pwet nga ba ang thryroid??)

---

15. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce. (so maganda pala ang naidulot ng divorce?)

---

16. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. (ayus ah, pwede pala makita sa lab yan??)

---

17. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. (ano daw?)

---

18. Skin: somewhat pale but present. (!)

---

19. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

No comments:

Post a Comment