too many thoughts. i have a long list of overdue stuff to do and i have the luxury of time to finish all those, and them some. but still the list remains untouched, and i'm getting very idle. don't get me wrong here, its nice that i can tinker with the PC and read my books and sleep. but there's this little voice that's nagging me saying "you should be out there working, they're all out there while you're still loafing around...that medal is useless". but i wanna give myself a break, you know. i've been working my butt off for the past couple of years and maybe i'm entitled to a few months of rest. but still, that voice won't leave me alone. actually, i have a few very important stuff to finish. that wedding video i promised last year isn't even half done. those pictures in my galleries aren't organized yet. the songs in the PC still need to be edited and arranged. the college trash in my room remains to be college trash in that gloomy corner...complete with a dust bunny, and most probably dust bunny jr. i still have to categorize my growing pile of books and find room for...well, i can't remember right now. so much to do, so much time. simply no motivation.
i simply can not stay at home for one week straight. i have to get out at least twice a week. wednesdays to check up on school, and saturdays to spend time with my beau. i get sick if i don't go out. literally. my body is used to going places and seeing faces. i'm even tingling at the thought of another wednesday tomorrow. i can just hang out at my favorite cafe and read a book. i can do that at home, but its different when you're some place else. my body feels renewed after a day out. i don't care where...just, out.
i'm itching to work already. its hard living without a constant flow of dough, especially when there are too many good books around. i've already eyed two of them at the bookstore at SM. one is THE PACT - a story about a group of four (oohh, frenchies!) and a murder (oohh, definitely frenchies!). the other has justine written all over it. FIVE-MINUTE MYSTERIES - you solve the crimes. problem sir...each book costs over a hundred pesos. and judging from my current dismal monetary situation, even one book is out of the question. it seems that graduation has stripped me of my hide to ask for money from the folks. that's why i need THE WORK. but THE WORK still has me on a short leash. patience is starting to be my most common virtue these days.
oh, and another addition to my very desolate financial life right now, is the fact that i still owe matey (fondly called as the L. HOYLE Scholarship Fund of New South Wales) the 30,000 he gave me for my law tuition. i only have a balance of 5,000, taking into account the good samaritan acts i've lately made. some people badly needed the money. (tolens, yours isn't part of this, that, i got from my personal account, so no worries:) and since the bulk of it was supposed to be paid around august and october in time for midterms and finals, it didn't pose as much of a problem. but since i withdrew from the course faster than atty. san jose could swipe my namecard for another brutal civil code attack...then the money needed to be returned to sender earlier than expected. i'm praying these people will hurry up with their get-rich-quick schemes and pay me before i'll be made to walk the plank. there's the 5,000, then the 15,000...and the 10,000 i personally owe the fund. don't ask where all that went. i enjoyed the money and i don't regret using it for that purpose. i'm still racking my brain where to dig up at least 6,000 since i've already solved a half of the 10 grand. oh happy day. it couldn't get more bleak than this. for me, that is.
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